An Eternal Fear

I didn't always know God. Growing up, I knew who He was and what He sent His son to do for us... but He was always so far out of reach. My story is most commonly like any other child growing up in a Christian home. I went to church every Sunday, playing games and singing songs about "Our Awesome God." I would color pictures of Noah on his ark with giraffes, elephants and any other animal imaginable. I was given a brand new children's Bible almsot every other Christmas since I could read. I would even volunteer to say the prayer when my mom tucked me in at night, thanking God for food, shelter, clothing and a family. I did all those things, though, because I thought I had to. Otherwise, I thought maybe God would send me to Hell, because I didn't constantly ask for forgiveness for my sins. Hell scared me. But what terrified me was the idea of spending an eternity in Heaven. How could I be in one place for eternity? It would never end. Never. I was so against the idea that I would have nightmares constantly. Whenever the thought entered my mind, I would quickly try to keep my mind busy with something else. This had hung over my shoulders for most of my childhood. It had prevented me from truly knowing who God was. Death had become my number one fear. Not because my life was over, but what it would lead to. But on August 6, 2010, God gave me a realization that not only changed my life forever, but ridded me of that fear. We were worshipping at my church's summer camp when I suddenly felt a sharp pain in my raised arm. It felt as if someone were trying to pull me up. All I could think of in that moment was the eternal Heaven. Except, instead of that cringing fear, I felt an overflow of joy! I realized that I shouldn't fear eternity, but give praise to Heaven. For I would be with the One who loves me more than I could comprehend. Anything less than eternity just wouldn't be fair, for I truly knew God.

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. ~Isaiah 41:10